Experiencing The Father's Love

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Prelude: Before the 2003 International Association of Christian Therapists Conference in Denver, Colorado even took place, I knew that the Spirit of God was already at work inside me. Driving up to Denver, I kept playing a song over and over entitled, “The Love of the Lord Endures,” by Joy Williams. For reasons unknown to me, I was moved to tears. Thinking strangely to myself, “I never listen to a song more than once. Lord, what is happening?” Up to this point, I was feeling quite distant from God but felt like God really wanted to change my experience of Him. What follows is a sharing and a dialogue with God about what took place and recorded in my journal that same day.

Thank you Father, Daddy, Abba. Tonight I received prayer for healing my high blood pressure and for release from destructive anger. That I received and then some. After being prayed for release from the anger, I was led to pray for past generations who were in bondage to anger. Then we prayed for freedom from any demonic spirits interfering. Then we prayed for deliverance from any spirit of abuse that caused harm to myself or my brothers and sisters. Then we prayed for the little boy (Francis) to receive the Father’s love. I realized that I could not because I was scared he was going to hurt me too and I couldn’t get close to him. I’ve realized that before intellectually, but never experientially. So we continued in prayer. Truth received: “You are my beloved son with whom I am well pleased.” I allowed myself by grace to begin receiving this reality and not remain distant. I could feel the Father’s love coming through my prayer intercessors, but I knew I needed more directly from the Father. So I went to the chapel – my Father’s House, and in the Presence of Jesus, God the Father continued to love me. I gave Him permission to love me and my child within. I gave Him permission to be my Father and for me simply to be His son. He showed me how earlier that day on my walk in the park, all the different ways he was loving me. First, there was a man alone in his truck talking on his cell phone. That was me. I always felt like a long distance caller with God and He would answer me from far away. Next, I saw a squirrel. I paused and began to interact with God’s creature. It was like he wanted my attention and so I responded by talking to him playfully and lovingly. We connected. I continued walking. I saw a father and son playing basketball together and thought, “Isn’t that special? A father taking time out of his busy Saturday to play with his son. Father God,do you have time for me? Do you want to play with me?” He said: “You’re damn right I do,” firmly. It was like He knew I needed that kind of assurance. He invited me to play with Him. I continued my walk. I came across a young man and woman kissing, lovingly, and at times passionately, wrapped in each other’s arms gently. I went around the park three times and they were still at it. Wow! “Is that how you want to love me Father? Is your love that passionate and intimate?” He said, “Yes it is! I invented it. I created it. And I invite you to have the same kind of relationship with me. Let yourself be my son and I will be your Father. Let yourself be my child and I will be your parent. Let me protect you. Spend time with me. Play with me. Laugh with me. Talk with me. Listen to my voice. Listen to my song, “I love you and you are mine.” As I continued my walk, I saw three girls simply sitting together and talking in fellowship just being friends and enjoying each other. “Do you desire that kind of friendship with me Father?” He said, “Yes I do.” I walked some more, talked with another squirrel, and noticed two boys playing baseball and having a lot of fun. “Do you want to have fun with me Father?” Again, he stated, “Yes, I do.” I finished my walk. I left the park and went to Wal-Mart to look for gifts. I selected a gift for a faithful friend, mentor, father-figure. Then I chose different gifts for each of my children, taking the time to match the gift with the uniqueness of each child. “Is that the way you love me Father?” Again, he reiterated, “Yes it is.!” I have given you gifts that are unique to you. But more importantly, remember that I am theGiver. I could take all your gifts away, but I will never take my Presence away. What I desire most is my Father-son relationship with you. Everything else is trivial and secondary. Come back to me with all your heart. Father, I accept and receive the gift of your love. Thank you for allowing me to experience the heart of your love. Amen.


Postlude: All of this occurred on Saturday, October 4th, feast day of St. Francis of Assisi. It was truly a day to be blessed by God the Father and all of His creation.

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